I thought it was you...

This piece of writing was created during the time of grieving an intimate love relationship. It was a purge of some of the fantasies, illusions and projections that existed in my mind when we are in relationship.

 

 

I thought it was you 

Who I would fall asleep next too every night

I thought it was you 

Who’s face I would still wake up too everyday 

I thought it was you 

I’d always kiss your smooth shoulder as you turned over and then spoon up behind 

I thought it was you

At sunrise I’d always practice and breathe by your side 

I thought it was you

Who would continually kiss the tip of my nose and the soft spot on my forehead

I thought it was you

I’d always smell and taste your natural un-perfumed skin so close to mine

I thought it was you

We would continue having mind blowing orgasms at the same time 

I thought it was you 

Forever our slow kisses would turn me on and merge our bodies as one  

I thought it was you 

Who would sit by my side in the car and stroke my thigh 

I thought it was you 

Whose waist I would wrap my arms around as I jumped on the back of your bike 

I thought it was you 

We still had more Indian adventures yet to come creating more magical memories

I thought it was you 

We would find some thriving earthy land 

I thought it was you 

Together we would build our own dream home filling it with our treasures from travelling the world

I thought it was you 

Who would make love to me in that “free standing bath tub”•

I thought it was you 

We would finally learn to play the piano side by side

I thought it was you

I’d consistently see that tear creep down your cheek as we prayed over our food

I thought it was you

Who I would grow old next too 

I thought it was you 

Our first child would be named after the moon 

I thought it was you

From time to time we would drink Cabernet Sauvignon and talk till dawn 

I thought it was you 

Together seeking out places we could see the Milky Way and count shooting stars

I thought it was you

Who would everlastingly laugh at my sheer clumsiness 

I thought it was you

Who would look after me and put my sunglasses away 

I thought it was you 

Who would consistently meet me eye to eye 

I thought it was you

Who I would always be able to go out with and have a good time 

I thought it was you

Who would get to pull me close to dance so intimately my heart would skip a beat 

I thought it was you

Maybe one day you would sit down by my side and enjoy to sing with me 

I thought it was you 

Who would eventually accept me for who I am

I thought it was you 

That someday you would be able to sit comfortably with my pain and my joy without wanting to move away

I thought it was you

Who was always going to hold me when I cried 

I thought it was you

That someday our differences could be lovingly set aside

I thought it was you

Together we would learn to embrace and intertwine all of our unique parts

I thought it was you 

We would join forces and offer the world our hearts

I thought it was you 

I really thought it was you

But now I am saying a painful goodbye 

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